Other potential titles for this post were:

“Freaking out with Facebook“

“30 years old: quarter-life-crisis, #2″

So, I turned 30 this past spring, and besides hightailing it Kenya and buying a half-million dollar sailboat, the birthday came and went pretty quietly. It’s the little things that happen afterwards that make you feel old. No longer being able to audition for American Idol. Working alongside people born after 1990. Doing surveys where you check your age: 18-29, 30-59, 60+. Really?! I’m in the same category as my parents. Speaking of parents, I was referred to as “Craig’s brother” this week. It’s understandable as my parents both still look they are in their 30’s, but it’s giving me a complex.

And I’ve discovered there is no age limit to facebook, so I signed up to help me keep in touch with friends in Kenya. Turns out I’m the last one to get on facebook. I’ve reconnected with people from high school, college, my small group from Fayetteville, old work friends, and even people I see everyday that just can’t get enough of me!

Whitney and I have reconnected with people who are now

• working with Peace Corps in El Salvador
• the one responsible for the little applications all over your facebook
• living blocks away from us without realizing it
• getting married or got married (even though last time we saw them they were 18 )
• pregnant or had some kids
• having 1,491 friends (it’s a very defining statement when it tells you how many friends you have)
• voting for Twitch
• Starbucks Manager of the Quarter

It’s all been pretty enlightening. By the way, I didn’t really buy a boat or have a crisis.

Tomorrow night, Monday, August 4, 6:30pm, the team that went to Kenya with me will be getting together to share pictures and stories from our trip. This will be at our home in North Little Rock. Anyone is welcome to come and listen to what we brought home. If you need directions, please email me at loibners@hotmail.com. We very much appreciate the support and prayers we had while we were preparing and gone on this journey. I am excited to continue to see the things that will come from this trip in my life and the people around me and the others on the team. Please continue to pray for Kenya Relief and the people who are serving and being impacted in Kenya.

P.S. if you want to see some great pictures now, become Andrew Calaway’s friend on Facebook and look at his albums. They are incredible! Also incredible are the pictures at the bottom of Andrew Dorsey’s blog.

Michael, Pete & Sandy

Michael and Sandy Boultinghouse landed in Kenya on December 28, 2007 with a small team that left a few weeks later. Because of the recent election, things in Kenya and especially in Migori were very heated. It was difficult to get groceries, schools were closed, there were fires, lootings, and roadblocks are within watching distance for the children in the yard at Marindi’s Children Home of Grace. Michael and Sandy stayed and watched the team leave and then the next scheduled team had to cancel their trip as things didn’t calm down. This was the first of many hardships that Michael and Sandy plowed through during their time in Kenya.

Being there with them helped me understand the situation in Kenya that we are trying to be a part of and also allowed me to see what it looks like for our cultures to join together. Despite the fact that everyone has either learned English or is trying to learn English, the language is still very much a barrier. It is most comfortable for Kenyans to speak to one another in their mother tongue, their tribal tongue. And as I learned bits of kiswahili, it was apparent that this was everyone’s second language. They still greeted one another and spoke to one another in Luo, their Bibles were printed in Luo, and even their posts on each other’s facebook walls are in Luo.

Another barrier has been the concept of time or organization. Our soccer game was getting pushed later and later which is natural for “Kenya time.” Erica commented that if the game got much later, she was going to have to leave to go help milk the cows which she discovered is the only thing in the entire country that actually happens on time. This was true. Michael had already talked to me earlier about the purchase of a cow that could produce a healthy level of milk. But to do so on a regular basis, they had to milk the cows consistently at 6am, noon, and 6pm everyday. This was a very difficult concept, but after the purchase of logs, clocks and watches; eventually Michael got through and the cows were milked on schedule. As a result, they saw more milk than they had ever seen come from one of their cows.

Sandy knows the names of children, staff, and people in the community. She walks in the mornings and everyone is used to seeing the white woman walking around the countryside by herself waving to everyone. Being there with Michael and Sandy and being there without was day and night. I am so appreciative of their friendship and what their presence did for our trip.

Here’s just a few more friends I wanted to highlight:

Dorothy walked with me to school on the first morning we were in Migori. She taught me basic greetings along the road and showed me all the classrooms in Kowini. She is a natural leader and is frequently called on to lead the others in a song during devotions or sunday school.

Stephen is supported by Fellowship North's Children's ministries and has a great relationship with David and Diane Heffington. He goes by his middle name of Karlos; although, he is too polite to tell anyone that. He's an incredible soccer player, and very kind to the children around him. He was also a huge help the night we let all the boys paint their hands all over the common room in their dorm.

Steve, and he actually goes by Steve, was one of the younger guys who was home earlier than most. Andrew and Andrew spent a lot of time chasing this poor guy around the compound, usually with paint on their hands. He played soccer and frisbee on the field with us. He's very soft spoken, but when we turned around he was frequently behind us.

During my two trips to Kenya, I connected best with three guys about my age (which becomes a large bandwidth each year). All three of these guys made for wonderful hosts and guides through the culture with caveats about how things directly affect them as the postmodern, emerging generation (which helps explain why they are all three on facebook). So I wanted to share a story for each.

Ben, Pete & Roxanne

Ben has finished school to become a pharmacist and has come back to Marindi to serve there rather than stay in Nairobi or somewhere else where he may have been more successful. This initial knowledge is a huge insight into his character. He was always a great sport, balancing water buckets on his head, filling a 4′ X 6′ white board with all the traditional names and translating them into English for Erica and Kerri, and taking people from the team into town for long, semi-necessary, question-filled adventures.

But I will remember Ben most from this trip for his soccer game. We’re playing with the children in the yard when he suggests we play a real game this Saturday. Sounds fun. Sometime Saturday afternoon, an entire team from a neighboring high school shows up ready to play. They are huge and very serious. Ben is in town. I get Fred to send someone to finish Ben’s errand and call him frantically to please get back home. He makes it back and our “team” all goes to get jerseys and cleats! Andrew Calaway is pointing out that no one told him to bring his cleats. So we get out there, and I insist Ben puts on a jersey despite his argument that he is only coaching. He then leads us in a little warm up which makes us look pretty real; although, it wore me out! We have enough players that not everyone has to play, so I make sure and get a spot off the field first. When the game starts, it is quite apparent that I will not be going out on that field at all. They were a little unorganized, but skill-wise could go up against any high school team in the Little Rock area. Finally Ben went in and let Andrew Dorsey off the field, but Andrew Calaway did a great job. So I guess I shouldn’t complain too much as I never had to play, but I was pretty fearful.

Geoffrey couldn’t be in Migori with us this year, he still greeted us at the airport in Nairobi and shared a meal with us at the end of our trip before we left. Last year, he helped me realize that the community in need in the developing nation was still a real community. We saw 2,690 patients in a 5 day clinic. We were shuffling people through as fast as possible. Geoffrey served as a translator for one of the doctors. We were talking one evening after we had shut down and talking about the day. I asked him if he had difficulty because of the medical language. Some of the other translators knew English but didn’t know some of the words the doctors were trying to used or ask. He didn’t have that problem, but then explained how awkward it was to ask some of the personal questions to people who with whom he lived in community his whole life. These were friends, parents of friends and elders in the community. And he had to ask questions involving bathroom routine, or worse, sexual habits. He also complained that there are not tactful words for some of these things like there are in the English language. So these questions would often come out very blunt or crude. I respected his job a lot more after that conversation!

Ishmael is Fred’s son and is starting college in the fall in Nairobi. He is teaching at the school in Marindi until school starts. I told Fred that I believed the character of a person’s child speaks into one’s own character. Ishmael’s life said good things about Fred and Maurine. We got to learn about customs of moving out of one’s home and building your own at the age of 15. We got to see the house Ishmael built beside his parent’s house which is beside his grandparents house which is still in the very middle facing the front gate of the property.

I very much enjoyed having Ishmael around during the week. I appreciated his willingness. He was always right there with us in the middle of a group of kids, making fun of what we were painting on the walls, riding on the 4-wheeler with Dorsey, translating or teaching language to us. Besides disappearing at meal times, it felt like he was the 9th person on our team.

As I am reflecting on my experiences, I continue to come back to people. I am so thankful for each of the people that served with me during this trip to Kenya and wanted to highlight some of the reasons. I am shamelessly stealing the (1 of 3) concept from my sister, as I will continue to post about the personalities that impacted me in Kenya outside of our team. This also helps explain why I am venturing into the facebook world. I want to remain connected the community around me as well as in Kenya. So I obviously have some figuring out to do, but I’m hoping it results in people having friends in Kenya that have never actually been to Kenya! So, in no particular order, here is my team of friends:

Sherry became best friends with a load of construction workers and did work I imagine she’s never done at home. She also put the guys to shame with her brick hauling, concrete mixing, dirt shoveling skills. I tried to explain that not all Americans are weak, we are just not people who do this kind of work on a regular basis. This explanation was not needed as Sherry was demonstrating. She also made the work so fun for all of them and never cared about language or cultural barriers and was never intimidated by being without other team members.

Erica was also never intimidated by this. She spent every night very late and much of the days with her “smart kids,” developing real relationships that will be able to continue. As I mentioned in the last blog, it’s the personal relationships that cause us to care about people. I know that if Erica found out that if one of these girls needed anything, she would do whatever she could to help because she is their friend. Erica also wanted to be right in the middle of everyday life. She helped Rose with laundry, milked cows with Martin, helped Daniel cook real Kenyan food, and even tried to help kill chickens (including dear Roxanne).

Sandra made beautiful things out of nothing. Her skill is not just decorating, but using whatever is available and very little other resources. She also was able to develop relationships as she went to market with Maureen and Eunice. And she worked closely with Jojo, an artist and painter; and Jared, who built shelves and furniture for us. She did a great job encouraging their talents as she incorporated the skills into the total piece of art that is now the Brittney House.

Larry was a rock. He was able to do everything requested by Sandra and was always the last one to stop working as there were many tasks of his that got pushed to after dinner. Larry was a lot of support to me on things I had dropped the ball on like not having the correct change for our visas or exchanging enough money to Kenya Shillings on the first day. Also, Michael had such great support and a great friend in Larry. Their primary goal was encouraging Michael and Sandy, and Sandra and Larry did this well.

Kerri was comfortable working wherever she was needed and was unintimidated by anybody or anything. She spoke Sunday morning with very little notice and shared her testimony in a very vulnerable way in front of all the girls on the team sitting in with 30-40 girls ranging from 13-25 years old. Kerri also has the unique gift of making people feel special. The best example of this is every meal, our chef, Daniel, would present the meal. Kerri would introduce him by saying, “everyone be quiet, it’s Daniel time!” and then cheer loudly after he had very quietly told us the name of each dish.

The Andrews, who always stood beside one another when I had to introduce the team, were my roommates and have become even better friends of mine during this trip. This somehow makes me feel both slightly younger, and yet o so old. They both did an incredible job playing with the children in a truly engaging way. The led music for the children and even sang a song with the children in front of the main service at church, 500+ people. Andrew Dorsey, was always willing to speak when Fred asked for someone on the team to share something, for which I am so thankful. Andrew Calaway is a great soccer player! I never talked much about this soccer game, but it was extrememly convenient that we had someone in our group that could actually play soccer.

I have been home for about 18 hours. I have been trying to continue processing things all through the safari, the trip home, and this morning as I wake before my two boys without an alarm probably for the first time since my last trip to Kenya. I used conversations with my teammates and the books I read to help do this. I finished Irresistible Revolution during the trip, and it will continue to rock me as I figure out all my applications. I was amazed at how what I read would fit so well into what we were doing or what the team was discussing.

Other impacting books were The Revolution: A Field Manual for Changing Your World, which is a great place to start; and White Man Walking; which despite it’s cheesy title and cover, is a great story about another journey to Kenya with striking similarities.

I also tried to read scripture around scripture references Shane makes. As many of us exposed to issues like the ones we saw in Kenya do not know how to respond, the stories of Levi versus Zacchaeus. One left his position as a tax collector and everything else to follow Jesus. One became a different type of tax collector. We are definitely called to one of these things as we seek to earnestly follow Jesus. It was beautiful to see Fred, Michael and Sandy as they had followed God’s calling to leave everything behind to follow Jesus. It was equally as beautiful to watch the people who come to Kenya with me try to figure out how they would go about their lives back home changed to reflect what they had been impacted by in Kenya.

As we neared the end of our trip, the inevitable questions from everyone came to the entire team. “Will you come back?” “When will you come back?” Last time, I knew when I left that I would return someday with people from Starbucks to show these beautiful people whom I love to the friends in my workplace. I don’t know what I will do now. The things that I was struck with about the logistics of Kenya and KenyaRelief.org are:

1. how easy it is to go! The shots and some of the paperwork seem scary. The airplane rides are long. But it was overall not an intimidating trip. There are tons of people who have been and are great resources for giving you clear expectations about the entire trip. I’ll be sure and tell you who to talk to and who NOT to talk to so that you are adequately prepared but not scared to death (thanks Jeannie and Cathy, but Sandra still did great!)

2. how easy it is to lead! Sure there’s a few panicky emails and questions, and Fred will ask you to introduce your team and maybe even share some thoughts or prayers, but if this anti-public speaker can do it, than so can most. The drivers are incredible and greet you at the airport to help you know what you are doing. Fred and the team from Migori are great at welcoming you and holding your hand through everything you are doing. Michael and Sandy were, of course, great hosts, but I hate to talk too much about them as they are not permanent fixtures.

3. how God will use anyone and change anyone no matter where you are coming from. All 8 people on this team were used in completely different ways from each other to minister to Migori. All 8 people were impacted completely differently from one another and by different things.

4. Lastly, how I think living in Migori is feasible for way more people than would ever consider it right now. Michael and Sandy brought a lot of incredible things to the table and sacrificed a ton to be there for the time they committed. But seeing them able to still enjoy their life but live among this people made me think that it was a possibility for any number of people even on the small team with me. I know Wilson would enjoy it! I’ve thought a lot about this one and would love to talk to you further if this strikes a chord on any level with you.

The things that I know I will take away are my relationships with people and how I can further cultivate those and trying to figure out how to incorporate people into these relationships who have not been to Kenya. We talk about disconnect and that we can let entire nations starve or die because of lack of clean water or get swept away by the HIV/AIDS crisis because we are not connected. Whereas we respond quicker to Katrina and the September 11 attacks because they are Americans. There are a number of people in Migori who if they needed a band aid or a heart transplant, I would do everything in my power to help because they are a friend and brother or sister in Christ. I want to figure out how to help people make these connections with or without a trip to Kenya.

We have just departed Migori. There were tearful goodbyes amidst the packing and tying up of loose ends. We attempted to negotiate a later departure time, but the group before us saw eleven lions on the morning part of the drive we are currently doing.

Yesterday morning we all participated to some degree in church. First we did children’s church. Sandy read the story of Shadrach, Meshach, and Abed-nego. Then there smaller classes of youth, men and women. Sandra and Larry taught in the men’s and women’s classes. Andrew Calaway and Andrew Dorsey did music in both youth classes. Kerri gave her testimony and a small homily for the girls. I did the same thing for the boys. The youth ranges from 14 to 25.

After those classes we went into the main service where the two Andrew’s did their songs with 8 out of the youth group. The song they did was “big house” which speaks of the big, big house that awaits us in heaven, “that’s my father’s house.”

The entire celebration, which roughly lasted from 8:15 to 1:15, was a reminder of when we will be together and not have to say goodbye and I will speak kiswahili fluently! We had a lunch on the lawn of Fred’s home and then played with the children or hung out with the staff all day. We all wanted to soak in as much as possible. After I packed, people began to bring me large breakable things to take back to my Mom and Dad to greet them. My luggage home consists entirely of baskets, soapstone, bubble wrap, and a copy of my passport. We were all sad to leave, but soon the sights of hundreds of zebras, wildabeast, 15 lions, and a pool of hippos helped to keep our minds in happier places. Please continue to pray for us we process what we have seen and done individually and together on Tuesday night. Also, we are planning on getting together on Monday, August 4, at about 6:30 at the Starbucks on McCain and hwy67 to show pictures and share a bit of what we have taken away from the trip and surely we’ll taste a bit of Kenya coffee. I also plan to elaborate on some details for an “unedited” version after my return.

We are flying through our time here in Migori. We have accomplished a lot more of the decorating than we thought we would accomplish. The painting everywhere and the decorations in the Brittney House, where teams of visitors stay, are very beautiful. A Kenyan broom is two feet long and is bound at one end with black rubber or colored string. They have a very cool appearance, but the Kenyans are looking at us funny, like you would look at your neighbor if she made a pretty sculpture out of mop heads and hung it on the wall.

Last night, we included all the children in the final touches of painting on the walls of their own dorms. The head boy, Shadrach, came and told us how proud everyone was. We could see as they found and pointed out all their handprints along the room. Shadrach told us that as head boy, he intended to keep it very clean so everyone could always enjoy the walls. The district officer for child’s services came to the compound this week and told the leaders how wonderfully everyone was treated and what a great facility it is. It was a great report measuring the success that is difficult to quantify. Sandra asked if they had seen the painting on the walls. We have yet to determine if that contributed to the good impression that was made on the officer.

Tonight, we attended the kid’s devotion in their dorms. On the fly, Andrew Calaway led us in some worship with a guitar Pastor Fred hunted down. It was a big hit. We taught a song and then they taught us a song. The girls took all the older kids out to play Bingo and we continued singing with the little kids. We had a great time with them. When we first walked in they had already begun and the smaller children began shuffling chairs to all the visitors without being prompted. It was very hospitable, but we wanted to be on the floor with the kids. Because of the formality of their culture and how well they want to treat us, it is difficult to get in and among the people as we strive to be in their community.

Sherry has made great strides as she shows up everyone by digging in the latrine and hauling bricks and water. She is not at all intimidated by the language barrier and makes fun of them and tells the foreman that no one is working hard except for her. Erica got her hands dirty today and did laundry with the ladies in the orphanage. This was settling as she really wants to build and sleep in a mud hut. Of course, this would be difficult with the malaria she believes she has. Symptoms have so far been limited to jetlag, but who knows. She also stays up late with the smart kids helping them study, correcting their English, and learning Kiswahili.

We have played a lot of Frisbee and soccer (football) in the evenings and that continues to be a favorite for us and the kids here.

Wilson and Campbell, everyone loves my pictures of you and can’t wait to play with you someday. We sang tonight about my Father’s house, and I’m so excited about the day we all be together and learn each others’ languages better than are doing this week. We won’t have to say “goodbye” to each other or our new friends again.

We have been in Mirindi for three days now. We have experienced so much more than I got to experience last time. We have visited so many families and have gotten to spend so much time with the children. I have also deeply enjoyed my time with Sandy and Michael learning what they are doing. They have so incredible relationships with everyone they are around.

As a team we discussed the complexities between coming to be here versus sending the money it would cost. This is multiplied by the needs we see and how much that money could do. We visited a woman who has a house supplied by Kenya Relief. She still sleeps on a large straw mat with all of her children. The mat cost $1.50. Again, I was guided by my reading of Shane Claiborne’s “Irresistible Revolution.” “Often wealthy folks ask me what they can do for the Simple Way. I could ask them for a few thousand dollars, but that would be too easy for both of us. Instead, I ask them to come visit. Writing a check makes us feel good and can fool us into thinking we have loved the poor. But seeing the squat houses and tent cities and hungry children will transform our lives. Then we will be stirred to imagine the economics of rebirth and to hunger for the end of poverty.”

With this in mind, watching the community Michael and Sandy have is far more beautiful and striving to be in this community with Fred, Ben, Ishmael, Harry, Martin, Meshack, and everyone else around me is more important.

I finally made it to see Irene and her family today. My parents fell in love with a little girl named Beatrice on one of their first visits. She is not in the orphanage, so they support Irene so she can support the entire family. She is one of the handful of widows that Kenya Relief has built a home. There are seven children: Quinter, Faith, Violet, Beatrice, Deyan, Sammy, Baby Pastor-Craig! Just to clarify, the baby’s first name is “Pastor-Craig,” my father’s name. Besides Baby Pastor-Craig, I have now met Baby Steve James, Baby Sandy-Lisa, Baby Michael, and Baby Dero, all named after Kenya Relief Benefactors. She presented me with a chicken. It was a large chicken, and I received it even though it was so difficult to take something I knew she needed and because I’ve never held a chicken. She was surprisingly accepting of her new owner and fate to be my dinner soon. It’s not something you have the option to turn down. I named the chicken Roxanne and she is much bigger and meaner than the other chickens in the yard. There appeared to be some sort of hen fight, to which I could not resist bragging about my winning chicken: “winner, winner, chicken dinner.”

We have also been doing some projects all around the compound. We have funded a latrine outside the boys dorm and hauled some bricks for it, but have otherwise left it to professionals. Meanwhile, we have painted in the girls and boys common rooms and the house that hosts teams and the children’s room in the medical clinic across the store. We have lots more plans and it will be interesting to see how much we get done.

On the hygiene front, today was all the boys’ first shower since we left Nairobi! Mothers will be so proud.

We arrived safely in Migori at 6pm on Sunday night after about 51 hours of travel from North Little Rock, Arkansas to Nairobi, Kenya and then to Marindi Children’s School of Grace in Migori, Kenya. We have been slow to get much done today because we are still recovering a little from our journey. We assessed the projects that are being done. After lunch we helped move some homemade bricks fired from clay and painted some areas in the medical clinic and Brittany House which hosts teams. We also planned some aesthetic projects in the boys and girls dorms to do tomorrow or Wednesday.

We have seen a lot. We saw the Brase Medical Clinic, Kowoni Public School, Marindi Grace Academy, Consaga’s house that was provided by the widow program and Ray and Becky Boeckman, Vocational school and Fred’s church. We came to Kenya to help, but mainly to see. My goal is to show others the poverty that exists outside our safe homes and begin to ask what we can do about it. On the plane ride in, I read about Shane Claiborne’s struggle with the US response to the September 11 attacks. He agrees that we must mourn, but to equally look out and mourn for others who have lost their lives in Iraq, for example. “And the lives of the 30,000 children who die of starvation each day is like six September 11ths every single day” (Irresistible Revolution, p204).

I am excited how this book is framing these experiences for me. We saw Ben, Jeff, Fred and Alice on the first night at the airport. I was so excited to see old friends and challenged to make sure I’m establishing a true friend-to-friend relationship. I don’t desire for either of us to perceive me as doing some kind of favor. I want to live in community with them and help them as they help me.

Shane also talks about Christians who ask God to bless what we are doing rather than seeking the will of God. And that God has told us what and who he blesses so we can go and surround ourselves with them.

Yesterday morning I read that list in the Beatitudes in Matthew 5.

“Blessed are those who mourn” –Kenyans have lost so many lives unnecessarily to illness and malnutrition.

“Blessed are the meek” –I have never experienced such humility as I do here from both individuals and from entire groups, towns or churches. At church they are quiet and respectful and do not question anything.

I am so excited about this team and the community we will get to create with the people in Marindi, with each other, and hopefully bring back to you.

Other highlights include:

• Seeing a Maasai guiding his sheep and goats with a staff and cell phone.
• Hearing about using used motor oil to treat wood used in buildings, to which Andrew Dorsey replied, “GP#5,” which is a quick way to reference which Guiding Principle of Starbucks Mission Statement we are currently upholding or discussing. GP#5 is “Contribute positively to our communities and our environment.”

  

• All the welcome songs and poems by the children and staff here in Marindi.

• Walking the kids to school and allowing them to show us into their classrooms
• Playing soccer with the kids.
• Seeing community on the side of the road in every little town all the way from Nairobi to Migori.
• Larry offering to pay Nicolaus, our driver, to pass the shops so Sandra will stop buying things.
• Seeing Steven Oicho, who Fellowship North’s Children’s ministry supports, proudly wearing a NLRHS soccer jersey.
• Fred receiving shoes Becky sent from Ray Beockman that fit perfectly and were well received.
• Drinking Starbucks Kenya Coffee in Kenya with Kenyans (even though we have only found one who drinks coffee).

Downsides:

• We haven’t tasted a Vivanno. Go enjoy one for us at your local Starbucks beginning Tuesday, July 15!